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In this affluent area, it is almost a given that a graduating high school senior will go straight into a four year college. While this path works for many, some students are not yet ready to handle the academic and social demands of college. For these young adults, a delayed entry can make a world of difference in their performance when they do start college and, ultimately, in their success and happiness in later life.

College success requires two maturities:

• Intellectual to be able to handle the academic challenges on one's own (without parental guidance). This also involves knowing who, when, and how to ask for help, if necessary.
• Emotional to be able to strike an appropriate balance between studying and enjoying the social and recreational aspects of college.

While every parent will have some doubts about how their children rate on these two dimensions, some graduating seniors are truly not yet able to function in a college environment. Packing them off prematurely, simply because that is what their classmates are doing, may prove ultimately disastrous. Placing these students into a college environment before they are ready risks a failure experience that will damage their self-esteem and breed ill feelings towards school. Scraping by doesn't gain a student much as a stepping stone-after all, is the goal to simply get a diploma or is it to set oneself up to lead a successful and satisfying life? By twenty-five, it won't matter that the student started a year, or even two, later. Students with learning disabilities or attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder are especially prone to struggling if they start college too soon. Given their increased difficulties with classwork, they are more likely to over-do the recreational aspects of college.

Of course, the decision to delay starting college is not an easy one. It requires that the family make an honest, if perhaps painful, assessment of the student's abilities and likelihood of success. Information from teachers, guidance counselors, and mental health professionals may be pertinent. Keep in mind though that there are no absolute answers-ultimately it's a judgment call. Related to the two maturities, there are two factors to consider in determining if a student is ready for college:

• Prior academic performance. To what extent is the student a self-starter? Was s/he able to consistently produce work up to his/her ability? If not, there may be an undiagnosed learning disability and/or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder-further evaluation may be warranted since the college classroom can be much more unforgiving than high school.
• Ability to balance work and play. The move from the family home to the dorm room presents almost all college students with much more freedom. Some students have difficulty managing this transition-they have a fantastic time but their grades suffer. Students who are depressed, anxious, impulsive, or socially insecure are especially prone to have difficulties managing this balance. It may be necessary to address these before attending school.

If the decision is made to hold off on starting college, the family must also find a way to tell friends and extended family and deal with the social pressure of people's reactions. This can be an uncomfortable moment, but often the best tack is to simply state, "We thought about it and decided that this is for the best. I/she/he will get more out of college later." The issue here is not what the majority is doing, but rather what is best for the individual student.

Just as college is an investment in one's future, so too can a break be if it enables the young adult to get more from the college experience. The best way to spend that time will depend on the individual, as well as on circumstances and what is available. There are several options.

Attend a local college while living at home. This gives the young adult an entry into the college classroom experience, while still providing the structure of living at home. Parents are available to help with assignments, as well as to provide guidance on time management choices (e.g., the balance between socializing and studying; sleep/wake times; etc.). The goal is to provide a smoother transition to living independently at school. Community colleges offer the most flexibility in terms of how many classes are taken, as well as being very reasonably priced.

Get a job. This could be something personally meaningful (e.g., working to preserve the environment) or merely something to earn an income. If the parents are willing to foot the bill for living expenses, volunteer work may be more rewarding, as well as look better on the application. For bright students with poor motivation or little direction, the time spent in the types of clock-punching jobs available to high school graduates may provide a concrete example of why a college degree is worthwhile. Regardless of whether they are getting paid, these young adults should pay their own way, at least partially. If living at home, that means paying rent, even if as little as $20/month. This teaches responsibility and signifies that this is a new time of life. Additional chores around the house may also be imposed to give a taste of living independently. Of course, additional freedoms may also be appropriate (e.g., later curfews).

Live abroad or in a different part of the country. This can be a fantastic opportunity to gain exposure to other ways of life. During the time away, the young adult may take classes or work, or both. Depending on what type of structure is provided in the living arrangement, this may actually be easier to manage than a busy college campus.

Join the military. The armed forces can be just the thing for some graduating seniors who need a great deal of structure and don't know what they want to do for a career. Due to declining enlistings, the military is offering more perks such as college classes, job training, and increased flexibility in postings. Nonetheless, this is a decision that should be considered thoroughly in that it is extremely difficult to undo and does carry the possibility of active combat.

Some parents may worry that if their children take a break before going to college, they will never get there. While this is true for some young adults, if the break is well conceived, it will serve its purpose as a solid stepping stone that enables them to make much better use of the college experience. Of course, some people simply do not fit the traditional college mold and would be happier and more successful seeking their fortunes elsewhere. Attempting to jam these square pegs into round holes will only lead to failure, resentment, and fruitless struggle.

For the students who do go to college after a break, it may be that they need to take a reduced course load, at least temporarily, perhaps necessitating additional time to finish. Others may need to take time off during college. By their mid-twenties, the delay will have had a minimal impact. If one of these options is needed, it is best to initiate it early before the situation really deteriorates because it will be easier to undo the damage and move forward. Learning disabled or ADHD students are especially likely to require a reduced load or time away-the classroom environment often emphasizes exactly those areas where they're weakest. As a result, these students need to work twice as hard just to keep up. For these students especially, it's important to see college as a rite of passage, after which they can find a niche in life that caters more closely to their abilities.

The college experience involves far more than the academic knowledge gained. It is a time of self-exploration. Exposure to diverse ideas, people, and opportunities provides the raw material for crucial decisions about what each student is looking for in life, both in terms of work as well as in more personal areas. Although the ultimate product of a college degree is often emphasized most, college is really a process by which teens become young adults.

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